I thought this deserved merit somewhere in my blog-o-sphere. It’s from a few years ago but it’s hilarious. It’s comes from Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen during the 2006 MLB season. The ChiSox had won the World Series in ’05 and they were slumping SERIOUSLY the following year. Guillen blew up at reporters in response to media criticism about his performance as manager.
As transcribed from the tape recorder of a Chicago Sun-Times baseball writer:
“It’s not fair. It’s not fair when people crucify someone for no reason. Fuck, they crucify me every day for something that happened two weeks ago. What the fuck’s that. (New York Yankees’ manager) Joe Torre hit the god damn guy and no one even talk about that shit. I’ll take the suspension. But, god damn, I didn’t hit anybody. When my kids read that shit, that angers me. That’s fucking horse shit. It is. They call me names, and some asshole talking shit. Now he’s on (Chicago Cubs’ manager) Dusty Baker. Fuck him too. (Chicago Sun-Times columnist) Jay Mariotti. He can kiss my fucking ass that piece of shit. Fuck Mariotti. And tell him I got him a message from Cincinnati: that he’s the same scumbag here as he was there, they told me that. You can send that message to him, or anybody… whoever his bitches are here. Whoever it is, tell him I got a message, I got seven writers and one is the voice of the team, that man has been there for like 30 years. They tell me, Ozzie, he’s the same, just exactly like that – he was the same piece of shit there (Cincinnati) and now he’s here (Chicago). You can say that. My skin is pretty tough. He’s not going to run me out of town. Tell Mariotti he can kiss my ass. He’s going to lose his job before I lose my mine. I guarantee that. Because I’ll plug it in everyday to fucking murder these motherfuckers, to make sure I make him miserable. He thinks that talking shit in the papers is going to get me fired? Fuck him, fuck him and all his people around him. I leave this fucking town when I want to leave, when I’ve had enough, or maybe next week. Maybe in fucking 20 years, motherfucker, but I’m going to be here for a little while. Now now he’s fucking trying to get Dusty out of there and put fucking guys on the god damn radio show. What a piece of shit he is, fucking fag. He is a stupid fucking idiot.”
This rant earned Guillen further ridicule in the media and forced White Sox ownership to request that their manager seek sensitivity training. He did the time but is still spewing venom. It tends to happen most often when his machismo is questioned by a losing streak. White Sox win 10, 11 straight, it’s cigars for Aye-verybody! Backslide, starting the month 0-for-May, and he’s holding a toothpick and you can see his chest hair unfurl.