A friend once said: “Ozzie’s the best.” Now, this guy definitely had a fondness for Black Sabbath. But I think the same can be said of Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, who recently took verbal aim at everything in sight. In doing so he again proved to be the best quote in all of sports.
He blasted the Chicago fans, all of them. He blasted the media for oh, the umpteenth time. And he blasted Lee Elia, a former Chicago Cubs manager. Elia never met an f-bomb he didn’t like and his April 29, 1983 rant about Cubs fans booing and heckling recently celebrated its 25th anniversary.
Elia’s rant: (“Eighty-five percent of the fuckin’ world is working. The other fifteen come out here. A fuckin’ playground for the cocksuckers.”) was outrageous at the time and even seems so compared to Ozzie, but I digress.
Ozzie’s latest rant was unleashed before the White Sox even took the field in Toronto on Sunday and comes in the midst of a five-game losing streak. Reportedly, Guillen was asked a routine question about a minor leaguer and his chances of making the big-league team.
Guillen then offered this statement:
“Right now everyone in Chicago is making lineups — ‘Call up this guy, call up that guy.’ … If we had 50 people allowed on the roster, we could do that. That’s what ticks me off about Chicago fans and Chicago media: They forget pretty quickly. A couple of days ago we were the fucking best stuff in town. Now we’re shit. We won it a couple years ago, and we’re horseshit. The Cubs haven’t won in  years, and they’re the fucking best. Fuck it, we’re good. Fuck everybody. We’re horseshit, and we’re going to be horseshit the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win. We are the shit of Chicago. We’re the Chicago Shit. We have the worst owner [Jerry Reinsdorf]. The guy’s got seven fucking rings, and he’s the fucking horseshit owner. How about the Cubs celebrating that Lee Elia bullshit? How many times do I curse people out? I will make a lot of money with my shit. I have to keep going because in the future Ozzie will need money, and I can say, ‘Here, give me money, here’s the 10-year anniversary of my time I called [Jay] Mariotti stuff and the time I went on the radio and cursed out Mike North. … People are panicking. Did we play a real bad week? Yes, we did, we stunk. But it wasn’t too long ago that we were ‘the biggest surprise in baseball, wow, look at the White Sox.”
The White Sox were in first place in the American League Central Division until their recent skid. What’s more, Guillen had been jovial with the media again. Gone was the cynical Ozzie from the past two seasons, the manager who was bitter and sullen to the media, the manager who was next to be fired.
This latest outburst, though, puts the spotlight back on the White Sox, and especially Guillen. If the Pale Hose don’t make some noise this season, Guillen could find himself cursing the days he spent as manager of the Chicago Shit.