The Philadelphia Phillies phinally won the phucking World Series. Phooey.
The Phillies, since winning that gag-nasty Game 5, have been the toast of sports. I suppose they deserve it. After all, they did sneak past the limping Tampa Bay Rays. But there was little, if anything, that was impressive about this Phillies team. In fact, they’re probably the most unimpressive champion in recent memory, perhaps only dwarfed by the 2005 Chicago White Sox.
These Phillies couldn’t hit and couldn’t drive in a single runner in scoring position. They won with smoke and mirrors and Cole Hamels.
They did win, though, and will reap the rewards.
So now, in the days and weeks to come, they’ll have their little parade and do the talk-show circuit. They’ll have their yuks with Letterman and Leno and eventually end up on the South Lawn of the White House this winter as the last guests of an outgoing president.
I’m guessing J-Roll and Co. will probably give ‘W.’ one of those quaint, if not overused “No. 1” jerseys he’s been collecting these last eight years.
Funny thing is, ‘W.’ was born on third base and thought he hit a triple, while the Phillies died on third base because nobody could get another hit. Yet both managed to score big in the end.